When you are pregnant people are always quick to tell you how you should birth your baby and be prepared to function on very little sleep. You’ll turn into a “mombie” they tell you. At first you think you can handle it. Afterall, you were in your twenties once (or now) you’ve stayed up all night and been fine the next day. You don’t NEED 8-hours of sleep a night. You’ll be fine you said.
A few years ago I started taking pictures of the sunrise each morning at the stop sign at the end of our road. It was a quick moment of reflection, snapping the picture on my phone, hoping to avoid passing cars so the image would just be of the trees, the sky, and the sun. 
I was born at 5:13 a.m. on a cold January day. I’ve always been a morning person.
When my third child was born, four years after my second daughter I had somehow forgotten the torture of interrupted and missing sleep. When the sun would start to set, I would get cranky and anxious. In tears I would try to rock my son to sleep. I prayed for the daylight. Longed for the sunrise. I could cope during the day as long as the sun was shining. But night time was when all hell broke loose.
That was probably one of the first signs I was suffering from postpartum depression. But as a mom of three, returning to work one-month postpartum, being partially self-employed…I pushed on. I ignored the self-hate, the desperation, the self-care. In my misery I soldiered on. I told myself this was only temporary and that I was strong enough to do it.
Sleep Deprivation and Postpartum Depression
Fighting with my husband. Insisting that the baby couldn’t take a bottle. Insisting that I had to feed him because I had the breasts and it would be detrimental to my milk supply. Insisting that I had to wake with the baby because my husband had a job out of the house to go to each day.
In retrospect, it is all so clear. The lack of sleep, the anxiety, the irritability. It was a lose lose situation. I put my own health and well-being in jeopardy by ignoring the deep rooted need for sleep. And I’m sure this only deepened my postpartum depression.
Even without a newborn lack of sleep can be detrimental. We NEED sleep to function. To reset. To stay healthy. There are ways to make sleep a priority and work towards quality sleep if not quantity of sleep hours.
Creating a care plan for your postpartum needs in the PRENATAL period is a great start!
- How will you work in naps?
- When can you introduce a bottle so your partner can do some night feedings?
- Who else can support you (mom, postpartum doula, good friend) to assure you get a few nights early on of solid blocks of sleep or good day-time naps?
- Can you really sleep when the baby sleeps?
- How much sleep do you need to feel functional? How much sleep do you need to feel like a Queen?
- How is your sleep or lack thereof affecting your eating and drinking choices? Caffeine vs. high energy foods?
Now fifteen months into this third time journey things are better. My son still wakes once a night and I’m usually the one to get up with him but the wakefulness is a short time. He has inherited my “morning person” attitude and routinely wakes at 6:15 a.m. I’m pretty sure it’s just so he can enjoy the sunrise with me.
Mamas – you are NOT alone. Please join us for Mother With Courage on the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month. The 2nd Monday of the month meets at 1:00 p.m. and offers mom-to-mom support. The 4th Monday of the month meets at 5:30 p.m. and is geared toward moms who are self or clinically diagnosed with Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders. Both groups are free.
